Alliance fundraising technique - apply hands firmly to ankles and shake

  Where to start, where to start from this Alliance fundraising strategy that someone thoughtfully made available online for public scrutiny.

Following this link takes you to the sales pitch aimed at trust-fund wonders who can shell out $100,000 or more, while clicking here describes Alliance "Profiles in Fund Raising" - how Kennedyesque! (old school Kennedy, that is)

Among the more unsavory excerpts ....

"Since January 2004, the Alliance has received 1,762 donations to our fund raising campaign, 93 of which were made by Major Gift prospects (asked for gifts of $20,000 or more). These 93 donors accounted for 94 percent of the total amount raised in that time frame. n(emphasis added). We anticipate the major gifts approach will yield 90 percent of all funds raised during the 2005 campaign" - so much for the Alliance's frequent claims as to "grass-roots" status.

This one's pretty good, too -

"Gifts at the highest level will be sought first to build momentum and secure a cornerstone gift" - cornerstone gift? Are they actually planning to build a monument to their efforts? Where would it go - outside their offices in Hyannis, just are situated just over Hooters on Barnstable Road? (apparently a place called Howlers wasn't available).

In making pitches, fundraisers are urged to "reiterate how the Alliance is the main force behind this effort and the State and the ACOE appear to have little ability to stop the project at this point" (indicative of a fundamental misunderstanding as to the role of "the State" and the Army Corps of Engineers).

" ... Discuss that in order for our goals to be accomplished, we will need to raise donors' sights and levels of support." Put another way - these measly donations of $10,000, $20,000 and $50,000 just ain't gonna cut it, people. Dig deep into those trust funds and Swiss bank accounts -  no one ever starved with fewer yachts to waterski behind (emphasis in the original, unless otherwise indicated).

A key point - "But our success will depend on major donors at the six-figure level, of which we currently have 16." Again, so much for the Alliance's claims of broad-based financial support.

Here's the advice when "responding to the prospect:"
"Listen carefully to the prospect. They will have one of four reactions:
"The prospect will immediately agree to the suggested amount"
      "React with gratitude! State that the gift will help tremendously toward the objective of the Alliance and its campaign!"
       "Have them complete the letter of intent contained in the packet or complete a check for the full amount" (get it in writing - or don't leave without a check).
       "Don't prolong the visit, thank them and leave" (get the heck outta Dodge!).

"The prospect indicates a need for time to consider the proposal.
       "This reaction is most likely" (especially if the prospective donor is genuine in his or her support for renewable energy) Thank them for considering the request and reassure them that you were not expecting a decision today (and pay no attention to those letters of intent sticking out of my pocket)

(3) "The prospect offers a commitment that is much less than expected" (TTFW - too tacky for words)
       Here the Alliance fundraiser is urged to "use your best judgment. If it is a token gift of $5,000 you should delay acceptance" (and mask your obvious disdain). "If it is a far more generous gift, then you might graciously accept their gift" (as opposed to the surly reaction you may experience for a piddling five grand) " ... and tell them you will keep them informed of progress and challenges" (don't call us, we'll call you).

(4) "Refusal to give to the campaign at this time.
       "This response is possible" (especially if they are burdened with a conscience - you are, after all, asking them to fail one of the most compelling litmus tests they are likely to face)
        "Ask for the reason for their declining" (plant a frozen smile on your face; avoid grinding teeth)
         "Thank them for considering the request. Ask if you can keep them informed about future challenges and opportunities" (don't forget to also mention possible consequences, such as getting booted or never admitted to the Wianno and Hyannisport yacht clubs).
         "Leave the door open and offer to answer any future questions" (and quickly proceed to a more gullible target).